My grandfather’s father, Ralph Arthur, left his family in 1930 when Grandpa was fifteen. I only learned about this family mystery, because, after Joe and I started dating, Joe liked to ask Grandpa lots of questions.
Many years later, looking through archival books at the Heritage Center in Springfield, Joe and I found information that showed that Ralph was living in New York state in the 1930s. What was he doing there?
Similarly, Ralph’s draft card from 1942 listed his residence in Newark, New York. The person who would always know his address? Mrs. Ralph Arthur.
Mrs. Ralph Arthur?
Wasn’t Mrs. Ralph Arthur my great-grandmother, Bertha? Bertha who was still in Springfield, Ohio in 1942 and remained there her entire life?
Who was this Mrs. Ralph Arthur?
While I was investigating Ralph and the Arthurs on Ancestry.com, I happened upon a cousin living close by in Toledo who I never knew existed.
Cousin Jill.
Jill was the daughter of Josephine, sister to my grandfather, Robert Arthur. Jill, in her mid-80s, was my mom’s first cousin.
I sent Jill a letter. She called me. We chatted and I told her what I knew about the family she had never met.
But what she wanted to know most was why her grandfather, Ralph, left his family for another woman.
I did not know, but I was determined to find out.
Jill said that for most of her life, her mother had told her and her siblings that their grandfather Ralph was dead. Jill believed her until one day, as a teenager, she answered a phone call and the person on the phone said he was Ralph.
It was only then that her mother told Jill that Ralph was alive and that he had scandalized the family, disappearing from their lives to start a new family, bringing a woman into his life who he could not have married as he never divorced, but who called herself Mrs. Ralph Arthur.
When I started looking for this unknown woman, I searched for her under Ralph’s name and New York.
The first clue I found was a 1940 census record which listed Ralph in Amherst, New York living with a woman named “Effie Arthur” who was listed as his wife.
Effie.
The mystery woman.
Finally, I had a name. But no matter how hard I searched after that, I could not find anything else about an Effie Arthur.
When I finally stumbled upon her obituary, even it only listed her as “Mrs. Ralph Arthur”. She had no identity other than as Ralph’s wife. She wasn’t even listed as Effie in the obituary.
From the obituary, however, I found out that her maiden name was Appleman and that she had children with the last name of Lake.
With a bit more investigating, I discovered that “Effie” was actually a nickname for Eva.
Eva Appleman Lake Arthur.
Was her nickname used to hide her identity because of the scandal?
Effie had been married to a man named Thomas Lake. I also could not find where she divorced him. Like Ralph, she had six children.
Oddly, Effie was five years older than Ralph. In 1930, when it seems they first found each other, Ralph would have been 45-years-old; Effie 50. Not exactly a spring romance.
So how did they find each other? How did Ralph end up in New York?
I continued to search.
Effie died in 1955 and, with her death, Ralph returned to Springfield, Ohio and my great-grandma, Bertha.
Why did Bertha take him back? Why did Ralph go back to Springfield? He had a job and a home in New York; just not Effie.
It appears that Ralph may have returned to Ohio, because he was ill. He died in 1960 within five years of Effie’s death. Did he return home to Bertha so she could take care of him? Why did she agree to be his caretaker after what he had put her through?
The perils of love.
The obituary that Bertha wrote for Ralph is telling. In it, she says that he was “a resident of Springfield most of his life.”
Most of his life.
Ah, yes, except for the years he spent in New York with another woman.
By contrast, Bertha’s obituary from 1973 states that she was born in Springfield, Ohio and “resided here all her life.”
I think that was a poke at Ralph.
Even with all these clues, I was no closer to figuring out how Effie and Ralph met or why they both left their families for each other.
I kept seeking answers, tracking down Effie’s distant relatives who were still alive and sending them messages on Ancestry. But no one had any information about Effie. She was a name in their family tree, but nothing else.
I finally decided that all the people who knew Effie or had ever met her must surely be dead. The trail was cold.
I had given up on ever knowing more about Effie when, just recently, looking on Ancestry, I saw that someone had posted a photo of her headstone. I had not been able to find where she was buried or her headstone previously. So I reached out to the person who had uploaded the image.
Amazingly, the person who posted the photo of the headstone was Effie’s great-great-grandson. He was filling in the family tree for his father, Effie’s actual great-grandson, who I will call WS to protect his identity.
WS, in his 80s, had met Effie as a child and called her Grandma. He also had met Ralph.
WS was just a little boy when he knew Effie, and he would have been only 13 when she died in 1955, but he had actual memories of this elusive figure in my family’s history.
WS said Effie had always been old and sick. That Ralph would disappear when the family came to visit. He sent a photo of the farmhouse where Effie and Ralph lived. One of the six children who Effie raised was actually her granddaughter. Another family scandal.
But the most shocking thing WS’s son told me was that family lore said Effie ran a brothel!
WS’s son wrote me: Here is the part of the story that is just family lore that I cannot prove or disprove. The story I am told is that Effie may have run a brothel. Lots of women lived in the house and many men came and went. Perhaps this was in Buffalo? Or it could have been in Newark, NY. Not sure. It complicates things and, again, I don't have solid proof either way.
A brothel. Was that how Ralph and Effie met?
WS did not have a photo of Effie. He agreed that we would probably never know how Ralph and Effie ended up together, but would ask other older relatives who knew about her if they had any clues to the mystery.
I guess I am hoping that by posting this, someone may know something else about Effie and contact me.
But for now, I thank WS and his son for sharing their memories with me and bringing me just a bit closer to understanding the enigma that was Effie.
I am off to call Cousin Jill who will be further scandalized that a brothel may have been a contributing factor in this family conundrum.